Tag Archives: copng with stress

Talking to People

What is life all about?

What is the one thing that we have to do all the time?

How do we get ahead in our business careers, personal and spiritual lives?

The only answer to these questions is – Talking to People!

I had the morning off yesterday and I had some business to do at my local police station. I always dread going to a government office because of the perceived inefficiency, corruption and other horror stories which I am sure are more urban legends than general common experience!

I decided, as I was parking my car, to see how many people I could talk to. Not just ask questions about what I wanted to know, but actually engage with people, talk to them as fellow humans.

My experience was astounding!

I discussed the merits of drinking hot water with ginger, mint and lemon instead of coffee and tea to help people who are reporting traumatic incidents. An old and wise sergeant debated the stages of a personal relationship as his father taught it to him – in depth insights on infatuation, love, parenting and friendship. The cashier lady discussed concepts of honesty and integrity that they encourage at that station and how that has helped her teenage children, and I sat in on an impromptu lesson given to patrol officers by a private security officer on how to approach a suspicious vehicle!

Who would have thought that there was such a depth and diversity of knowledge and human experience at a simple community police station?

What other human insights are out there that we miss in the hustle and bustle of our daily grind?

As best you can, take some time to talk to the humans around you. You will be surprised at the depth and value that will be added to your life!


Filed under depression, Stress Management and Life Coaching

Reward Yourself

Imagine for a moment that you are a primitive hominid foraging in the wild, collecting edible fruits, berries, leaves. Always on the look out for danger, but right now the warm sun on your back is comforting, the wind in the trees is gently working with that warm sun to cause you to relax, to drop your guard. Everything in that moment is perfect, abundance of food, good weather, total freedom… Then… A huge predator, a sabre toothed cad bursts out of the bushes a few meters from you!

You run, committing every single resource and skill that you have to survive, zigzagging, jumping over boulders, ducking under branches totally unaware of various thorns and injuries you are incurring in your mad survival flight.

You find a tall tree and in a flash you are up in the lower branches, barely touching the branches as you scramble higher and higher. You get to a sturdy branch right at the top of this tall tree and stop. You feel the same warm sun shining on you, you are sore, scared, tired and elated.

You are alive, you feel alive, breath alive, think alive. In that moment you know that every single piece of knowledge and experience that you have gathered up until that moment has been applied and has allowed you to survive. Your continued existence re-enforces all that learning, experience and action.

Take a moment to look around you right now. Look at the co workers, the stuff on your desk, the phone in your hand, what ever it is. Realise that, just like your primitive ancestor, right now in this moment, every single piece of information, experience, understanding and belief that you have now and have ever experienced has brought you right to this point, right now. You are alive, you have survived and that is wonderful. Take a deep breath, reward yourself for being you, congratulate yourself for having the courage to come so far. Sit with that for a moment, suspend all judgement for a moment and just be you, alive on the planet – Well Done!

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Filed under Stress Management and Life Coaching

What’s The Point?

All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them.

Galileo Galilei

Perhaps we should rather ask ourselves;

Whats MY point?

Why am I here?

I was feeling pensive the other day and I was enjoying observing myself assisting a client to her point of truth and purpose in that moment. I was cynically laughing at myself because I realised that I had been pining for my point or purpose for over twenty years and had never had the courage to explore the reason for my existence, yet here I was, honestly and sincerely assisting a courageous lady to mercilessly pound away at her insecurities and comfort zones to find a momentary part of her point.

I have found that in moments of self doubt we are forced to look at the meaning of things, either good or bad, and come to some sort of conclusion about ourselves in relation to the circumstances and the world around us. If we are honest with ourselves in those moments of vulnerability, we will find out something about ourselves. That thing that we are forced to face will be a defensive emotional response that is no longer required by us. We are constantly growing and evolving through life, and these pensive moments occur so we can discover a truth about ourselves and there by understand ourselves better.

This truth to understanding process is not always what we want or like, and it is not always pleasant, but is is a vital “spring cleaning” of the psyche. The point of searching for the point is a consolidation of past experience and emotion. This consolidation creates a new solid foundation on which we can build the next layer of our existence and re-motivates us to achieve our goals or motivates us to re-assess our goals.

Thy to befriend those pensive moments, sit with them and allow them to follow their course. They will heal your spirit and allow you to grow faster than you thought possible.



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Filed under self help, Stress Management and Life Coaching

Under Pressure

“Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.”
Chinese Proverb

We run around from person to person, from meeting to meeting, from situation to situation and back again, always squeezing in a little bit more, day in day out….

Sound familiar?

Why do we do this, put ourselves second so we can do stuff for others over and over again?

When do you ever do YOUR stuff?

Those of you who have attended one of my stress courses will remember that the main thrust of the course is to develop conscious awareness of ourselves in our environment so we can then initiate change on our terms.

To do this however we need to find out what it is and why exactly we are under pressure.

The problem with this self analysis is that our logical mind is always trying to please or limit us in accordance to our reference points in society. These reference points very seldom have any bearing to who we actually are.

How many times have you been in traffic, or at work and have been daydreaming about playing golf, or hiking in some mountains, or making great lunch?

This shows that who you are and who you would like to be are two separate levels of consciousness and experience. The trick to relieving stress or pressure in life is to understand the motivation behind what you are doing, and the long term effects on your life that may result from these actions. Once you have documented that, you can then compare your answers to where you would like to be and start to initiate plans to get to where you want to be.

We all have responsibility to face, but we don’t have to suffer while we are fulfilling those responsibilities. In some cases we can choose to either change the responsibility or change the actions we preform to fulfill them. We just need to be aware of what we re doing!

This week, ask yourself WHY

-Why and I doing this?

– What’s in it for me?

– Do I need or want this?

– How will this action get me to where I want to be in life?


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Filed under Stress Management and Life Coaching