Tag Archives: blame

Speed-bumps and Potholes

Speed-bumps and Potholes

Have you ever been cruising comfortably through life, everything going according to plan when suddenly BAM!

You hit a speed-bump or pothole and your well made plans are lying in tatters at your feet leaving you struggling to cope?

Logically we know that life is carrying on, that we are alive and coping, but things are no longer working out as planned and the feelings of joy, happiness and freedom have gone!

In this type of situation, it is vital to keep our perspective flexible and mobile. We need to be able to quickly and efficiently zoom our perspective into and out of the situation and its results that are being currently experienced. Try this zooming for a moment.

Select a small problem that you are experiencing. Focus on the minute details of it, then imagine yourself zooming out and seeing you problem in relation to your co-workers, your family, your neighbourhood or even further out if you can.

Did you notice how the perceived severity of your problem changes?

This fluidity of perspective allows us to gain different understandings of the situation and there by enables us to make better decisions about what we need to do to regain our comfortable cruising along equilibrium.

Once our perspective begins to shift, we are able to make informed and good decisions and we should usually feel empowered enough to take decisive action to get ourselves back into equilibrium.

Remember to check your spare wheel occasionally…. always be aware of your financial, moral and emotional situation and use your speed-bumps and potholes to slow you down enough to prevent yourself over committing to things that may not be necessary or appropriate for you in you life as it is now.

Speed-bumps and potholes are a wonderful way for us to slow down, take stock of our position, appreciate what we have and move decisively into our future!

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Filed under anger management, depression, helping others, Stress Management and Life Coaching

Blame

In life, you can blame a lot of people and you can wallow in self-pity, or you can pick yourself up and say, ‘Listen, I have to be responsible for myself.’ Howard Schultz

How many of us have tripped up a step and blamed the step, or fallen off a bicycle and blamed the bike?

It is the easiest thing in the world to assign blame, but what is it and what does it do to our psyche?

To assign blame, one first has to make a simple judgment. A judgment of our selves in comparison to everyone else, a judgment of our performance in relation to other peoples performance. In essence, we have to separate ourselves from expected outcomes in a way that ensures that the outcome has nothing to do with us. If we do this however, the first question to arise will be; why is the thing that we are trying to disassociate ourselves from is so important to us?

If that particular thing is of such little consequence, why create the disassociation at all?

By association therefor, we are always fully or at least partly responsible for that very thing from which we are trying to disassociate.

Once we realise this, we are automatically half way to resolving the issue at hand. The next step to positive resolution is to decide how you can efficiently respond to the situation that you are trying to assign blame to. You may notice that the result of these two steps is a simple shift in consciousness. You have moved from a state of dis-empowerment and defense to a state of empowerment and resolution!

How simple was that?

This week be aware of where you assign blame.

Then decide how you could respond differently to achieve your desired outcome. By doing this, you automatically start to take your power back and gain more and more emotional freedom.

 

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Filed under Stress Management and Life Coaching