Category Archives: self help

Getting the Timing Right

How long did it take you to learn to ride a bicycle?

How many times did you fall off that bicycle before you got it right?

Why then do we expect that other areas of our lives will run smoothly and hassle free on the first try?

There are so many variables interacting and influencing our lives that is amazing that we get anything together at all!

It seems that the only way that we as humans can progress along a chosen path is to assess all the variables and order them in such a way that the transaction or set of actions progresses in a specific order to get us to our desired outcome. In most cases, if something goes wrong, the whole process stops and we have to re evaluate the order in which we placed the variables and try again. Success in life seems to be all about implementing the right formula with a compatible set of circumstances at the right time.

To get the timing right, you need to observe and be patient!

Observe the outcomes of your actions as they are today. Judge for yourself if the outcome is acceptable to you in relation to your expectation. If you are not satisfied, look at the actions that you took and see where your actions can be improved. Also look at the technology available and decide for yourself if you need to upgrade it or even adapt it to suit your purpose better. It is pointless inventing an iPod like device and not having access to suitable memory technology.

Don’t lose sight of your end goal. Be patient!

Allow other important variables to mature to a point where they are compatible and can add meaningful value to the action that you need to take to successfully achieve your goal.

In most cases you will notice that a lack of success is nothing more that a timing issue. Don’t be too hard on yourself, re assess your actions and try again!

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Changing Limitation to Success

Walking past a sports apparel store the other day, I read a quotation under a sports celebrity’s photograph. It read; “I trained for 19 years to become an overnight success”

That made me stop and laugh. I had one of those gestalt moments where I saw myself in perspective with all my strengths and faults, striding through life as best as I can, and that it was all just fine and orderly.
I tend to forget that I am not alone in the world with my insecurities and fears. I forget that we are all human and that we all have our skeletons in our closets and that the point of life is to understand and transmute these limitations as best we can. The funny thing that I have noticed with life is that our fears or limitations are much more prevalent in our lives than we would like. It must be part of the whole matter follows thought system – we consciously or subconsciously focus on our fears or limitations more, so we manifest them and experience them in our reality more.

Changing limitation into success is a three step or three meditation process, and as always with my suggestions, it is simple!
1. Be honest with yourself the next time you meditate. Take a long hard look at your limitations or fears. Identify them and just observe them. Take note of your observations and feelings id your meditation diary.
2. Start be meditation on or contemplating your feelings as discovered above. What do they mean to you and what is your payback – why are they important to you, or what need within you do they fill?
3. In your next meditation, decide if that need or payback is still relevant in your life. Can you enhance and perpetuate it or do you want to drop it now that you understand it?
What action do you need to take to move from this position to the success that you want to achieve – take the first step!

Enjoy being alive on earth, rise to your challenges courageously and have fun!

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Maintaining Happiness

Happiness is a feeling that we have about ourselves in response to a specific and unique set of external circumstances. Our personal expectations are met and normally a positive judgment of ourselves (not ourselves in relation to others) can enhance this feeling.

Take a moment to think back to a time when you were happy. Observe the situation and or people in that scene and re-live that happiness. What is it about that scene or situation that has created that feeling of happiness, and how have all your expectations of yourself and others been met in that moment?

This observation of your happy set of circumstances will give you an insight into some of your subconscious aspects of your self and your motivations in life that you may not have been aware of. These aspects are not to be judged, but acknowledged and where appropriate re-created in your life today.

To calibrate this happiness, to give it importance, we need to compare it to something, normally negative emotions and feelings. Repeat the exercise above, but this time remember a time when you are sad or depressed. Again observe the scene without judgment and allow yourself to observe your expectations that have not been met to your satisfaction. What have you discovered about yourself through this observation process, and how can you integrate or change where appropriate?

It is naive to think that we can be happy all the time. What we can do is observe our times of unhappiness, understand them for what they are and then allow our happy formula to engage to move us once again towards a more harmonious and graceful state of being.

Every person on Earth deserves to be happy, and the state of mind that we experience as “being happy” is easy to create and maintain.

It’s your choice – choose happiness!

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What’s The Point?

All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them.

Galileo Galilei

Perhaps we should rather ask ourselves;

Whats MY point?

Why am I here?

I was feeling pensive the other day and I was enjoying observing myself assisting a client to her point of truth and purpose in that moment. I was cynically laughing at myself because I realised that I had been pining for my point or purpose for over twenty years and had never had the courage to explore the reason for my existence, yet here I was, honestly and sincerely assisting a courageous lady to mercilessly pound away at her insecurities and comfort zones to find a momentary part of her point.

I have found that in moments of self doubt we are forced to look at the meaning of things, either good or bad, and come to some sort of conclusion about ourselves in relation to the circumstances and the world around us. If we are honest with ourselves in those moments of vulnerability, we will find out something about ourselves. That thing that we are forced to face will be a defensive emotional response that is no longer required by us. We are constantly growing and evolving through life, and these pensive moments occur so we can discover a truth about ourselves and there by understand ourselves better.

This truth to understanding process is not always what we want or like, and it is not always pleasant, but is is a vital “spring cleaning” of the psyche. The point of searching for the point is a consolidation of past experience and emotion. This consolidation creates a new solid foundation on which we can build the next layer of our existence and re-motivates us to achieve our goals or motivates us to re-assess our goals.

Thy to befriend those pensive moments, sit with them and allow them to follow their course. They will heal your spirit and allow you to grow faster than you thought possible.

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Wisdom

By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.

Confucius

A dictionary defines wisdom as an experience when knowledge has brought about right action.

From this we can conclude that we are all wise because there is some knowledge that is unique to us that has prompted some form of right action from us which we have experienced.

It seems to be a habit in the Western world to look outside of ourselves to attain wisdom. The reason for this is that we all aspire to greatness in our own way, and in so doing, we look to others to guide us on our path. This seems to be the second step mentioned above in the quotation by Confucius. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this method, but I want to challenge you to take things a step further, let’s push ourselves out of our comfort zone for a moment.

Lets be noble and bitter at the same time!

Take a moment to reflect on the unique knowledge that you have. Look for simple every day things to start with and allow your reflection to expand out to greater understandings and concepts that you have. Make a note of these things. After 20 minutes or so, I bet you will be amazed at how much unique knowledge you actually have.

Now look at those notes that you took. Start at the top of the list and understand or recollect what course of action brought you to that knowledge. This may or may not be “bitter”, in fact you will probably find that there are predominantly good and happy chains of events that lead up to your acquisition of knowledge.

We are all infinitely wise in our own lives. take courage and share some of yourself and your wisdom with others where appropriate. Allow yourself to be the motivation for others journey to wisdom!

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Being Present

“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment” Buddha (enlightened person)

How much time have you spent today thinking about what could be?

How much of that future daydream was taken up by good or bad thoughts, which one predominated?

Is this what you want to experience now?

How much of your time today was spent thinking about what has been, or what could have been?

How much of that past daydream was taken up by good or bad thoughts, which one predominated?

Is this what you want to experience now?

How many of us actually have tried experiencing the moment?

How wonderful is that experience of feeling the warm sun on your back while you take a break while working outdoors, or savouring that first sip of tea or coffee, eyes closed to the world just enjoying that single moment, or snuggling down into a warm bed after a hard stressful days work?

These moments of pure freedom, pure bliss, pure at-one-ness with one’s self are what the sages of the ages have been talking about. Yes, we all need to understand our past experiences and yes, we all need to have a goal for our future, BUT all we actually have in our lives is a long string of ever expanding and interconnecting single moments in time.

The best part of understanding this concept is the realisation that only you have the power and resources to control how you feel in any given moment. You choose to feel good, bad, angry, sad, happy or what ever it is. Your emotions are a result of an experience in your past, your emotions are a hormonal response to an external trigger that has triggered that hormonal release. The hormonal trigger has already happened and now resides in your past, leaving your present open for a decision that will most likely determine how you will feel in the near future.

A simple trick is to do things in reverse!

Decide right now how you would like to feel in a few moments time, then follow a course of physical action that will bring about that feeling. In this way, by focusing on your present right now, you can make better decisions about your future. If you don’t have the power and understanding of your now moment, you will not have a starting point for your future.

Listen to the advice of the Buddha and become the sage in your own life!

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Why Wait?

Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.

Barack Obama

You have got an ides of where you want to be – so why are you not there?

Why wait?

Go out and do what ever it is that you need to do to get you to where you want to be. Easy as that!

Why do we wait?

Waiting has both positive and negative aspects to it. Some of the positive aspects are thst waiting allows you to re assess important decisions thereby minimizing your risk of loss or injury. Waiting also allows things, ideas and circumstances to mature or become better that they were, like with a good cheese or whine, or even an investment portfolio. I am sure the positive aspects of waiting are understood by us all!

The negative aspects of waiting are a lot more sinister, yet somehow intrinsically linked to their positive counterparts. We wait too long before apologizing or appreciating a loved one, we wait too long to buy that investment portfolio, or we wait too long to make challenging business calls.

It seems that one of the main motivations behind our inappropriate waiting is fear . A fear of pain or loss. If we analyze this further, we may realize that the fear is not really appropriate, and it may even be a habit!

Mastering the waiting game is nothing more that finding an appropriate balance between the positive and the negative aspects of waiting. This balance should allows us to exercise due caution and still allow us to act with the freedom we choose to get to where we want to be.

Assess yourself responsibly, wait smart and let waiting bring grace and balance into your life and let waiting accelerate you towards the fulfillment of your personal goals

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