Category Archives: depression

Adding Value

Here is an interesting concept!

The only purpose we have in life is to add value…

I have been toying with the idea of the meaning of life – heavy philosophical stuff you may think, but a perfectly natural occurrence or all of us, and I have observed that the only constant that permeates through out the whole of our existence, and in all spheres of our existence is the concept of value. The basic premise is;

How much value do I need to add to get the value I want out?

“RUBBISH, never – I am not that superficial, I’m a good person!” you may shout and you will be 100% correct, but (don’t you just hate those but’s?) the very concept of being a good person and striving to do your best is an act of adding value for a particular gain, even if the gain is just the satisfaction of facing responsibility, or the satisfaction of helping, or even experiencing religious reverence.

As a simple illustration, ask yourself;

Why do you shop at X store, or are friends with X person?

Because at some level the perceived value of your engagement with the store or the person adds value to your life.

Another aspect of this thought process occurs when you feel as if you are unable to perform a task, or to help someone. You feel bad, insecure, or embarrassed because you feel as if you are not able to add the necessary expected value.

The amount of perceived value that we add to life is directly responsible for how we feel about ourselves and our self worth.

I encourage you this week to go out there and add as much value to your customers, co workers, family and any other circumstance that you may find yourself in. Even in difficult circumstances, be firm and add value!

In so doing, everyone that you come into contact with has a better opportunity to thrive, and you have the opportunity to feel valued.

Humanity is a wonderful and complicated interconnection of “customer support” in which we play a crucial role, so go out there and be valuable and have fun!

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under anger management, depression, freedom, helping others

Freedom to be Yourself

Have you ever noticed that everyone but you seems to have their “act together”- that you look into others perfection and see your own miserable self reflected right back at you, then in a cacophony of safe insecurity you hit your bottom, bounce, and present that brave face, that arrogant smirk, that clubs that self righteous junk right back at those looking into your own miserable yet “I got my act together” veneer of perfection?

Have you ever sat at the feet of yet another self absorbed guru (like there is any other kind) and secretly wondered, while gaga grinning in inner peace, what it would be like if gaga grinning guru here were to self immolate, spontaneously, now, so that while he sizzled and greased up the floor with his holy oil, you could ease the cramp in your back, legs, bum and toes, that was gifted to you by the personal enlightenment pose of the now fast reducing master?

Have you ever instinctively felt that there was something out there, something greater than you, but have been unable to extract yourself form the whirlwind drama of life to look around to see what exactly it is that is disturbing your everyday mundane perfection?

Have you ever considered that you are prefect as you are?

Remember that what we do for a living is not who we are – it is an important and complex interpersonal and social means to a financial end. It is important to understand and work in harmony with those around us, but that title and position, no matter how lofty or lowly, is not you. It is just a transitory position in your journey through life.

While you are facing the responsibilities of life, don’t forget to take some time to be yourself – even if it means putting a picture of a dragon or a fairy on your desktop!

Always remember that you are unique, perfect whole and complete as you are – you are free to be you whenever you choose.

Leave a comment

Filed under being present, depression, freedom, ptsd

Speed-bumps and Potholes

Speed-bumps and Potholes

Have you ever been cruising comfortably through life, everything going according to plan when suddenly BAM!

You hit a speed-bump or pothole and your well made plans are lying in tatters at your feet leaving you struggling to cope?

Logically we know that life is carrying on, that we are alive and coping, but things are no longer working out as planned and the feelings of joy, happiness and freedom have gone!

In this type of situation, it is vital to keep our perspective flexible and mobile. We need to be able to quickly and efficiently zoom our perspective into and out of the situation and its results that are being currently experienced. Try this zooming for a moment.

Select a small problem that you are experiencing. Focus on the minute details of it, then imagine yourself zooming out and seeing you problem in relation to your co-workers, your family, your neighbourhood or even further out if you can.

Did you notice how the perceived severity of your problem changes?

This fluidity of perspective allows us to gain different understandings of the situation and there by enables us to make better decisions about what we need to do to regain our comfortable cruising along equilibrium.

Once our perspective begins to shift, we are able to make informed and good decisions and we should usually feel empowered enough to take decisive action to get ourselves back into equilibrium.

Remember to check your spare wheel occasionally…. always be aware of your financial, moral and emotional situation and use your speed-bumps and potholes to slow you down enough to prevent yourself over committing to things that may not be necessary or appropriate for you in you life as it is now.

Speed-bumps and potholes are a wonderful way for us to slow down, take stock of our position, appreciate what we have and move decisively into our future!

Leave a comment

Filed under anger management, depression, helping others, Stress Management and Life Coaching

Personal Responsibility

The Lord helps those who help themselves”

Don’t you hate it when people lord this phrase over you?

I tend to immediately go on the defensive with phrases like “if only….” or “I’m trying”

Taking a long hard look at the basic fundamentals of life, I soon realised that there are so many variables to consider, so many different possibilities and interconnected options, the “if only…” reason is immediately invalidated. “If only…” is only a possibility once the action or outcome has occurred. The outcome is then not liked or accepted. This position of dislike is used as the premise for the “if only”. It can not therefore be used as an excuse for anything!

The essence of life is survival. “I’m trying” has no influence what so ever on our survival. We either survive or we don not, there is no trying involved at all, just decisive action. This seems to be a hard core, blunt observation, but it extrapolates out into every single thing that we do in our lives. We can not try to do things like eating, driving, loving or typing. We either do them, or we do not. The very first time that you got behind a steering wheel of a car and engaged the gears, you were driving… possibly not very well, but driving none the less.

Everything in life is a combination of our decisions and our actions. We decide something and then take the necessary action to achieve the desired outcome. To do this, we need to be able to analyse our environment, to anticipate possible outcomes, understand the personal responsibility that we have in those outcomes, and then to have the courage to take decisive action. No matter how subtle or complicated life becomes, this core principle holds true. Observation, anticipation, responsibility, action.

Look at your life and circumstances, take responsibility for where you are right now. Decide where you would like to be, be courageous and take decisive action to get you on the path to your success!

Leave a comment

Filed under depression, Stress Management and Life Coaching

Talking to People

What is life all about?

What is the one thing that we have to do all the time?

How do we get ahead in our business careers, personal and spiritual lives?

The only answer to these questions is – Talking to People!

I had the morning off yesterday and I had some business to do at my local police station. I always dread going to a government office because of the perceived inefficiency, corruption and other horror stories which I am sure are more urban legends than general common experience!

I decided, as I was parking my car, to see how many people I could talk to. Not just ask questions about what I wanted to know, but actually engage with people, talk to them as fellow humans.

My experience was astounding!

I discussed the merits of drinking hot water with ginger, mint and lemon instead of coffee and tea to help people who are reporting traumatic incidents. An old and wise sergeant debated the stages of a personal relationship as his father taught it to him – in depth insights on infatuation, love, parenting and friendship. The cashier lady discussed concepts of honesty and integrity that they encourage at that station and how that has helped her teenage children, and I sat in on an impromptu lesson given to patrol officers by a private security officer on how to approach a suspicious vehicle!

Who would have thought that there was such a depth and diversity of knowledge and human experience at a simple community police station?

What other human insights are out there that we miss in the hustle and bustle of our daily grind?

As best you can, take some time to talk to the humans around you. You will be surprised at the depth and value that will be added to your life!

2 Comments

Filed under depression, Stress Management and Life Coaching

melancholy madness

“…there was a rattling and a trembling all day long, and where the piston of the steam-engine worked monotonously up and down, like the head of an elephant in a state of melancholy madness.” Charles Dickens – Hard Times

Wake up early, rush through ablutions, possibly have breakfast or a cup of tea or coffee, sit for hours in traffic, plonk down in your office chair, feel the pressure build until you reach your optimum efficiency, work , work ,work, lunch on the go, more work, back in the traffic, home, cooking, cleaning, house chores, evening ablutions, sleep, REPEAT….

How many of us can relate to a daily routine similar to this?

How do we remain focused and inspired every normal day?

It is very easy for me as a “coach” to jump up on to the stage of your life and say;

WOW!!!!

Every one stand up and stretch and take a deep breath!

Close your eyes and imagine your self living your passion!

WOW!!!!

How fun is that?

Now go out and do it!

Your body responds as follows;

Excitement, a mild stress response heightening your awareness, Stretching and breathing adds oxygen to your system helping to relax your muscles, linked to the positive emotions of visualizing your passion and hey presto! – you feel great and inspired right there in the seminar!

How do we maintain this motivation over time to get us to where we want to be?

The first step is to decide where you want to be. Look back at the vision that you imagined in the above mentioned example. Allow your imagination to be totally free. Populate that vision with as much detail as possible. Feel yourself in that space and ask yourself if this is what you actually want, or is this a fun fantasy. Both these outcomes are acceptable, but for now we need to decide if these goals are real and attainable, and if they are not, we need to see how we can insert smaller “way station” or sub-goals to lead us into our expectation.

Once you have some sub-goals in place, review your imagined journey to your goal and take some time to edit and smooth the rout as best as you can. Intentionally associate these sub-goals with your main goal and structure a simple affirmation around it. repeat that affirmation to yourself while you are commuting every day or while you are driving between clients. Make a point of repeating this affirmation at least 40 times a day. Once a week, observe your progress and fine tune your vision as required.

Success is a state of constant progress along and intended path, it is not a destination, so observe your changes and you will see your success grow and mature.

http://www.woadwellness.com/

http://www.woadstress.com/

Leave a comment

Filed under depression, positive thinking, Stress Management and Life Coaching

Wisdom

By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.

Confucius

A dictionary defines wisdom as an experience when knowledge has brought about right action.

From this we can conclude that we are all wise because there is some knowledge that is unique to us that has prompted some form of right action from us which we have experienced.

It seems to be a habit in the Western world to look outside of ourselves to attain wisdom. The reason for this is that we all aspire to greatness in our own way, and in so doing, we look to others to guide us on our path. This seems to be the second step mentioned above in the quotation by Confucius. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this method, but I want to challenge you to take things a step further, let’s push ourselves out of our comfort zone for a moment.

Lets be noble and bitter at the same time!

Take a moment to reflect on the unique knowledge that you have. Look for simple every day things to start with and allow your reflection to expand out to greater understandings and concepts that you have. Make a note of these things. After 20 minutes or so, I bet you will be amazed at how much unique knowledge you actually have.

Now look at those notes that you took. Start at the top of the list and understand or recollect what course of action brought you to that knowledge. This may or may not be “bitter”, in fact you will probably find that there are predominantly good and happy chains of events that lead up to your acquisition of knowledge.

We are all infinitely wise in our own lives. take courage and share some of yourself and your wisdom with others where appropriate. Allow yourself to be the motivation for others journey to wisdom!

http://www.woadwellness.com/

http://www.woadstress.com/

Leave a comment

Filed under anger management, depression, positive thinking, self help, Stress Management and Life Coaching