Monthly Archives: June 2015



Don’t you just hate those corporate, ego ingratiating, stress management seminars. The ones where you are bombarded with a truck load of “scientific data” that conveniently re-convolutes your life and quietly contradicts its self leaving you more knotty than before?

Or the mindless regurgitation of the same old blah balh schuwee feel good ideas like – eat healthier, sleep more, do yoga and wham-bam you will turn into a stress free green freak, munching on super organic – or was that orgasmic… zero polluting, everything free, tropical jungle lala-land wonder fruit?

…..Well, back in the real world, we realize that our stress is a complex and sometimes toxic combination of emotions, hormones, identity and survival responses that is perfectly tuned to get us through the day.

Yes the diet and the yoga and the sleep will all help and are worthy goals to achieve, but how can we even consider them when we are barely coping as we are now?

The only effective stress management system is one that will empower you to understand yourself better, bring your attention to yourself and your responses in the moment, and allow you to formulate a medium to long term strategy to direct you to your success.

Here are four simple things that you can do every day for 30 days.

WARNIG! Diligently following this system could just change your life!

Diary Work

Get yourself a diary and write in it 5 times a day.

Set an alarm on your phone to go off at 07h00, 10h00, 13h00, 16h00 and 18h00. When your alarm goes off, write down how you feel – ONE word, then three very short reasons WHY you feel like that.

As well as this, log your basic diet – what you eat and when, your coffee and tea consumption and your exercise done in the day. This forces your awareness to your self without any judgement or pre conceived ideas.


Learn to breath. Go to dance classes with your partner, try a few meditation classes to learn the techniques of meditation. Once you know how to do it, you can then apply your specific religious beliefs to your meditations. Remember that adding oxygen to your system will lower your blood pressure and will reduce your stress.


Daily exercise is important. Resistance exercise and interval training maintains a healthy body tone, fat levels and bone density and cardiovascular exercise – dancing and walking, maintain healthy cardiovascular system. Include your partner, family and friends in you exercise routine so you can help to motivate each other and build stronger social bonds.


Take some time to list your achievements and congratulate yourself for them. This will help you to define where you are in the moment and will also enable you to set and plan future goals. You will see your life more in perspective and will feel less overwhelmed.

After doing your diary observations for thirty days, take an hour or two and go through your diary. Find out for yourself how you have been living your life, what you have been eating, how your exercise regime is progressing.

Find three to five things that are negative and that are repeating in your life and write a short 300 word explanation or story around each one of those things so that you understand them fully . Then see what you can do to change those negatives into positive motivators in your life.

Your stress levels are a direct response to how you are operating in your world. Empower yourself and take charge of our life!

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Filed under Stress Management and Life Coaching

Adding Value

Here is an interesting concept!

The only purpose we have in life is to add value…

I have been toying with the idea of the meaning of life – heavy philosophical stuff you may think, but a perfectly natural occurrence or all of us, and I have observed that the only constant that permeates through out the whole of our existence, and in all spheres of our existence is the concept of value. The basic premise is;

How much value do I need to add to get the value I want out?

“RUBBISH, never – I am not that superficial, I’m a good person!” you may shout and you will be 100% correct, but (don’t you just hate those but’s?) the very concept of being a good person and striving to do your best is an act of adding value for a particular gain, even if the gain is just the satisfaction of facing responsibility, or the satisfaction of helping, or even experiencing religious reverence.

As a simple illustration, ask yourself;

Why do you shop at X store, or are friends with X person?

Because at some level the perceived value of your engagement with the store or the person adds value to your life.

Another aspect of this thought process occurs when you feel as if you are unable to perform a task, or to help someone. You feel bad, insecure, or embarrassed because you feel as if you are not able to add the necessary expected value.

The amount of perceived value that we add to life is directly responsible for how we feel about ourselves and our self worth.

I encourage you this week to go out there and add as much value to your customers, co workers, family and any other circumstance that you may find yourself in. Even in difficult circumstances, be firm and add value!

In so doing, everyone that you come into contact with has a better opportunity to thrive, and you have the opportunity to feel valued.

Humanity is a wonderful and complicated interconnection of “customer support” in which we play a crucial role, so go out there and be valuable and have fun!

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Filed under anger management, depression, freedom, helping others

Freedom to be Yourself

Have you ever noticed that everyone but you seems to have their “act together”- that you look into others perfection and see your own miserable self reflected right back at you, then in a cacophony of safe insecurity you hit your bottom, bounce, and present that brave face, that arrogant smirk, that clubs that self righteous junk right back at those looking into your own miserable yet “I got my act together” veneer of perfection?

Have you ever sat at the feet of yet another self absorbed guru (like there is any other kind) and secretly wondered, while gaga grinning in inner peace, what it would be like if gaga grinning guru here were to self immolate, spontaneously, now, so that while he sizzled and greased up the floor with his holy oil, you could ease the cramp in your back, legs, bum and toes, that was gifted to you by the personal enlightenment pose of the now fast reducing master?

Have you ever instinctively felt that there was something out there, something greater than you, but have been unable to extract yourself form the whirlwind drama of life to look around to see what exactly it is that is disturbing your everyday mundane perfection?

Have you ever considered that you are prefect as you are?

Remember that what we do for a living is not who we are – it is an important and complex interpersonal and social means to a financial end. It is important to understand and work in harmony with those around us, but that title and position, no matter how lofty or lowly, is not you. It is just a transitory position in your journey through life.

While you are facing the responsibilities of life, don’t forget to take some time to be yourself – even if it means putting a picture of a dragon or a fairy on your desktop!

Always remember that you are unique, perfect whole and complete as you are – you are free to be you whenever you choose.

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Filed under being present, depression, freedom, ptsd