Monthly Archives: May 2015

Day Dreaming

Remember those days as a child when the world was filled with possibility?

When a few bricks and a piece of card became a pirate ship or a space ship?

When there was no doubt in your mind that your newly imagined pirate ship could take you on an infinite adventure and that you would always be victorious!

You were always perfect in your own world.

Day dreaming is a unique behaviour that allows us to safely yet realistically explore possibility. It is closely linked to fantasy and the exploration there of, and a lot of our day dreaming may incorporate a large amount of fantasy. What day dreaming serves to do is to assimilate external experience and other peoples ideas , experiences and concepts into a single imaginary event which we then experience form our own unique perspective.

Day dreaming is a natural way of conditioning your subconscious mind to find something acceptable or unacceptable and there buy creating space or managing space in your life for the actual experience. There is also very little judgement of self or others in a day dream, and are few limitations to the imagined experience. By paying attention to our day dreams, deep insights can be gained into your self , motivations and expectations as well as into more negative areas of your personal limitations and inhibitions.

One can also re analyse trauma and other stress events in a day dream which allows us to create just the required degree of emotional separation for you from that event so we can cope better and eventually become stronger.

Dare to dream, indulge in that fantasy for a moment and alloy your mind to fine tune your experience in this wonderful reality!

What would it be like if…………?

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Filed under Stress Management and Life Coaching

Being More Efficient

We all want to do more, get more, achieve more….

But if we could allocate more time to X project, we would!

Most of us have already committed 100% of our valuable time to existing tasks at hand, so how do we grow our business, career and even social selves?

Have you ever played one of those slide the pieces puzzle games where you have to shuffle pieces around to get from A to B?

Becoming more efficient is a process just like that, we have to prioritise and schedule tasks in such a way so as to get all our stuff done and free up more time.

The best way to do this is to prioritise things in your life.

It is a given that you have responsibility to your family, friends and work, and would not jeopardise any of those. All we need to do is get the order right!

I like to divide my areas of influence into three categories.

  1. Drop everything and run emergency response

  2. Important to attend to before everything else

  3. Not so important, but needs attention

See if you can categorise all areas of your life into similar categories – for the family area in my life, children are 1, siblings and parents 2, others 3. For work, imminent deadlines 1, next weeks projects 2, yearly goals 3. Even vehicle maintenance can be categorised in this way – a cam-belt replacement would be 1, then a service and tyres 2, then air-conditioner re-gas 3.

We are always going to have to deal with a curve ball or two, but if we can re calibrate ourselves regularly and re focus, we will become more efficient, more pro active, less reactive and more in charge of our lives.

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Filed under Stress Management and Life Coaching

Getting the Timing Right

How long did it take you to learn to ride a bicycle?

How many times did you fall off that bicycle before you got it right?

Why then do we expect that other areas of our lives will run smoothly and hassle free on the first try?

There are so many variables interacting and influencing our lives that is amazing that we get anything together at all!

It seems that the only way that we as humans can progress along a chosen path is to assess all the variables and order them in such a way that the transaction or set of actions progresses in a specific order to get us to our desired outcome. In most cases, if something goes wrong, the whole process stops and we have to re evaluate the order in which we placed the variables and try again. Success in life seems to be all about implementing the right formula with a compatible set of circumstances at the right time.

To get the timing right, you need to observe and be patient!

Observe the outcomes of your actions as they are today. Judge for yourself if the outcome is acceptable to you in relation to your expectation. If you are not satisfied, look at the actions that you took and see where your actions can be improved. Also look at the technology available and decide for yourself if you need to upgrade it or even adapt it to suit your purpose better. It is pointless inventing an iPod like device and not having access to suitable memory technology.

Don’t lose sight of your end goal. Be patient!

Allow other important variables to mature to a point where they are compatible and can add meaningful value to the action that you need to take to successfully achieve your goal.

In most cases you will notice that a lack of success is nothing more that a timing issue. Don’t be too hard on yourself, re assess your actions and try again!

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Filed under anger management, positive thinking, self help, Stress Management and Life Coaching

Speed-bumps and Potholes

Speed-bumps and Potholes

Have you ever been cruising comfortably through life, everything going according to plan when suddenly BAM!

You hit a speed-bump or pothole and your well made plans are lying in tatters at your feet leaving you struggling to cope?

Logically we know that life is carrying on, that we are alive and coping, but things are no longer working out as planned and the feelings of joy, happiness and freedom have gone!

In this type of situation, it is vital to keep our perspective flexible and mobile. We need to be able to quickly and efficiently zoom our perspective into and out of the situation and its results that are being currently experienced. Try this zooming for a moment.

Select a small problem that you are experiencing. Focus on the minute details of it, then imagine yourself zooming out and seeing you problem in relation to your co-workers, your family, your neighbourhood or even further out if you can.

Did you notice how the perceived severity of your problem changes?

This fluidity of perspective allows us to gain different understandings of the situation and there by enables us to make better decisions about what we need to do to regain our comfortable cruising along equilibrium.

Once our perspective begins to shift, we are able to make informed and good decisions and we should usually feel empowered enough to take decisive action to get ourselves back into equilibrium.

Remember to check your spare wheel occasionally…. always be aware of your financial, moral and emotional situation and use your speed-bumps and potholes to slow you down enough to prevent yourself over committing to things that may not be necessary or appropriate for you in you life as it is now.

Speed-bumps and potholes are a wonderful way for us to slow down, take stock of our position, appreciate what we have and move decisively into our future!

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Filed under anger management, depression, helping others, Stress Management and Life Coaching