Grief

Grief can be the garden of compassion. If you keep your heart open through everything, your pain can become your greatest ally in your life’s search for love and wisdom. Rumi

Grief is that inner sense of longing, a sense of feeling incomplete caused by the absence of something or someone significant from your life. In most cases grief is described as a sense of loss, as the absence of something that we cherish or hold valuable. Grief is possibly the most intense emotional experience that any person will face in life.

Why then is it such a taboo subject?

The pain of grief is inevitable, yet we strive to drown it out, to hide from it or at lease avoid it for as long as possible.

Grief can not be compartmentalized or limited to a certain time frame. It is not something that we get over, it is something that we learn to live with, and as such, we should strive to embrace it, to understand the complex emotions emanating from it, both good and bad, and use grief as a stepping stone into our personal future.

To do this we need to first identify what we grieve for. By identifying the source of the grief, we stop ourselves from indulging in self pity. We are able to see it for what it is – not what it could be or what we think it should be.

Secondly, prepare yourself for the process. Emotions will rise at unexpected and possibly inopportune times, so if you need to initially set aside some time to contemplate your grief, do so. It is important that you have time to do this. Burying yourself in work or other activities is an initial survival reaction, but as soon as you can, take some quality time out to contemplate.

Then allow yourself to feel. Remove all judgment, just feel. Follow the emotions where ever they lead you. Go in peace knowing that when you find your way back to yourself, you will be wiser and stronger.

 

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