Monthly Archives: May 2014

#YesAllWomen

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#YesAllWomen

Because all women have walked to their car in the dark, keys clutched tight in hand, one poking out between two fingers.

Because when I go out to bars or clubs, I have to think about whether what I’m wearing is too suggestive, instead of putting on whatever I please.

Because I feel the need to apologize when I’m not wearing makeup or my hair hasn’t been washed, or when I’m generally looking anything other than flawless.

Because there was nothing I could do about the man who touched me inappropriately in the middle of Gillette Stadium as I waited for my then-boyfriend to come out of the bathroom. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STADIUM.

Because there was also nothing I could do when a man touched me inappropriately in the middle of a crowded street, his arm around his girlfriend. Because retaliating in the way I wanted to…

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Courage

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. Steve Jobs

How many of us have the courage to do the right thing?

What is the right thing?

How many of us listen to our heart?

How many of us feel free enough to do what ever it is that we want to do?

Take a moment to write down a single crazy freedom idea that has been lurking at the back of your mind.

Analyze this idea.

What is it?

What does this mean to you and why?

Is this your idea, desire or goal or is it someone else’s?

Why have you not achieved this yet?

What is holding you back?

If we observe great leaders either in industry or in society, we will find that the only thing that sets them apart from the rest of us is their ability to have the courage to do what ever it is that they dream of. In some cases, mostly in politics, the results of this courage is not very nice, but the undeniable fact remains the same. They had the courage to do what they wanted to do.

I always advise people to err on the side of caution when doing what they want when it is in relation to other peoples lives, and emotions, however by identifying the desire we are able to mold the implementation and mitigate any negative effects of our ideas.

This week, write down your responsibilities, those commitments that you have made to support your family friends and your responsibilities to work. Then write down what you dream of.

Have the courage to take a positive stop to upgrade your dreams and ideas, then have the courage to do something small towards the achievement of your desires.

You are on earth to be you. Have the courage to live it!

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Trust

Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement. Golder Meir

How would you define trust?

Is trust about vulnerability, surrender, loss?

Is trust about presuming that someone is better than you, or are you better than them?

Does trust invoke a sense of loss or anxiety,or a sense of peace and contentment?

Have you ever wondered why all these other emotions are mixed up with trust?

If you have a growing child, their whole learning experience could be defined as a transfer of trust. We trust them not to drop the glass of water, to not play with dangerous appliances or tools. Then later, we trust them with education, give them knowledge trusting that they will use it wisely, and if they don’t, we trust that they know not to cause too much damage in their experimental application of knowledge. Eventually we trust them to perpetuate our civilization, world view and culture.

That’s a lot of trust!

If we can trust our children, and those of others, why do we struggle to trust in interpersonal adult relation ships?

We seem to focus on the expected outcome, or feared outcome and then presume that some how our trust will fulfill that outcome. This is outcome based expectation,not trust at all.

Take a moment to re visit your emotional associations with trust. Re calibrate your trust. Find out what pay-back, good or bad, has been associated with your trust.

The secret is to trust ones self first!

Trust yourself to be exactly who you need to be all the time. Trust yourself to be the hero in your own life rather than setting yourself up for failure by using trust to try to dictate others presumed or expected behaviour.

The fact that you are alive and reading this blog shows the incredible amount of trust you already have in yourself. Use that trust as your starting point to drive yourself into your success. In essence, your existence shows you that you are already there. Why complicate it?

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Grief

Grief can be the garden of compassion. If you keep your heart open through everything, your pain can become your greatest ally in your life’s search for love and wisdom. Rumi

Grief is that inner sense of longing, a sense of feeling incomplete caused by the absence of something or someone significant from your life. In most cases grief is described as a sense of loss, as the absence of something that we cherish or hold valuable. Grief is possibly the most intense emotional experience that any person will face in life.

Why then is it such a taboo subject?

The pain of grief is inevitable, yet we strive to drown it out, to hide from it or at lease avoid it for as long as possible.

Grief can not be compartmentalized or limited to a certain time frame. It is not something that we get over, it is something that we learn to live with, and as such, we should strive to embrace it, to understand the complex emotions emanating from it, both good and bad, and use grief as a stepping stone into our personal future.

To do this we need to first identify what we grieve for. By identifying the source of the grief, we stop ourselves from indulging in self pity. We are able to see it for what it is – not what it could be or what we think it should be.

Secondly, prepare yourself for the process. Emotions will rise at unexpected and possibly inopportune times, so if you need to initially set aside some time to contemplate your grief, do so. It is important that you have time to do this. Burying yourself in work or other activities is an initial survival reaction, but as soon as you can, take some quality time out to contemplate.

Then allow yourself to feel. Remove all judgment, just feel. Follow the emotions where ever they lead you. Go in peace knowing that when you find your way back to yourself, you will be wiser and stronger.

 

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Blame

In life, you can blame a lot of people and you can wallow in self-pity, or you can pick yourself up and say, ‘Listen, I have to be responsible for myself.’ Howard Schultz

How many of us have tripped up a step and blamed the step, or fallen off a bicycle and blamed the bike?

It is the easiest thing in the world to assign blame, but what is it and what does it do to our psyche?

To assign blame, one first has to make a simple judgment. A judgment of our selves in comparison to everyone else, a judgment of our performance in relation to other peoples performance. In essence, we have to separate ourselves from expected outcomes in a way that ensures that the outcome has nothing to do with us. If we do this however, the first question to arise will be; why is the thing that we are trying to disassociate ourselves from is so important to us?

If that particular thing is of such little consequence, why create the disassociation at all?

By association therefor, we are always fully or at least partly responsible for that very thing from which we are trying to disassociate.

Once we realise this, we are automatically half way to resolving the issue at hand. The next step to positive resolution is to decide how you can efficiently respond to the situation that you are trying to assign blame to. You may notice that the result of these two steps is a simple shift in consciousness. You have moved from a state of dis-empowerment and defense to a state of empowerment and resolution!

How simple was that?

This week be aware of where you assign blame.

Then decide how you could respond differently to achieve your desired outcome. By doing this, you automatically start to take your power back and gain more and more emotional freedom.

 

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