Transferring to new site

HI all!

 

I am transferring this content to my new site www.woadstress.com

 

See you all there!

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Filed under Stress Management and Life Coaching

Low Down and Dirty STRESS MAMAGEMENT

Low Down and Dirty STRESS MANAGEMENT

Don’t you just hate those corporate, ego ingratiating, stress management seminars. The ones where you are bombarded with a truck load of “scientific data” that conveniently re-convolutes your life and quietly contradicts its self leaving you more knotty than before?

Or the mindless regurgitation of the same old blah balh schuwee feel good ideas like – eat healthier, sleep more, do yoga and wham-bam you will turn into a stress free green freak, munching on super organic – or was that orgasmic… zero polluting, everything free, tropical jungle lala-land wonder fruit?

…..Well, back in the real world, we realize that our stress is a complex and sometimes toxic combination of emotions, hormones, identity and survival responses that is perfectly tuned to get us through the day.

Yes the diet and the yoga and the sleep will all help and are worthy goals to achieve, but how can we even consider them when we are barely coping as we are now?

The only effective stress management system is one that will empower you to understand yourself better, bring your attention to yourself and your responses in the moment, and allow you to formulate a medium to long term strategy to direct you to your success.

Here are four simple things that you can do every day for 30 days.

WARNIG! Diligently following this system could just change your life!

Diary Work

Get yourself a diary and write in it 5 times a day.

Set an alarm on your phone to go off at 07h00, 10h00, 13h00, 16h00 and 18h00. When your alarm goes off, write down how you feel – ONE word, then three very short reasons WHY you feel like that.

As well as this, log your basic diet – what you eat and when, your coffee and tea consumption and your exercise done in the day. This forces your awareness to your self without any judgement or pre conceived ideas.

Breathing

Learn to breath. Go to dance classes with your partner, try a few meditation classes to learn the techniques of meditation. Once you know how to do it, you can then apply your specific religious beliefs to your meditations. Remember that adding oxygen to your system will lower your blood pressure and will reduce your stress.

Exercise

Daily exercise is important. Resistance exercise and interval training maintains a healthy body tone, fat levels and bone density and cardiovascular exercise – dancing and walking, maintain healthy cardiovascular system. Include your partner, family and friends in you exercise routine so you can help to motivate each other and build stronger social bonds.

Congratulations

Take some time to list your achievements and congratulate yourself for them. This will help you to define where you are in the moment and will also enable you to set and plan future goals. You will see your life more in perspective and will feel less overwhelmed.

After doing your diary observations for thirty days, take an hour or two and go through your diary. Find out for yourself how you have been living your life, what you have been eating, how your exercise regime is progressing.

Find three to five things that are negative and that are repeating in your life and write a short 300 word explanation or story around each one of those things so that you understand them fully . Then see what you can do to change those negatives into positive motivators in your life.

Your stress levels are a direct response to how you are operating in your world. Empower yourself and take charge of our life!

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Adding Value

Here is an interesting concept!

The only purpose we have in life is to add value…

I have been toying with the idea of the meaning of life – heavy philosophical stuff you may think, but a perfectly natural occurrence or all of us, and I have observed that the only constant that permeates through out the whole of our existence, and in all spheres of our existence is the concept of value. The basic premise is;

How much value do I need to add to get the value I want out?

“RUBBISH, never – I am not that superficial, I’m a good person!” you may shout and you will be 100% correct, but (don’t you just hate those but’s?) the very concept of being a good person and striving to do your best is an act of adding value for a particular gain, even if the gain is just the satisfaction of facing responsibility, or the satisfaction of helping, or even experiencing religious reverence.

As a simple illustration, ask yourself;

Why do you shop at X store, or are friends with X person?

Because at some level the perceived value of your engagement with the store or the person adds value to your life.

Another aspect of this thought process occurs when you feel as if you are unable to perform a task, or to help someone. You feel bad, insecure, or embarrassed because you feel as if you are not able to add the necessary expected value.

The amount of perceived value that we add to life is directly responsible for how we feel about ourselves and our self worth.

I encourage you this week to go out there and add as much value to your customers, co workers, family and any other circumstance that you may find yourself in. Even in difficult circumstances, be firm and add value!

In so doing, everyone that you come into contact with has a better opportunity to thrive, and you have the opportunity to feel valued.

Humanity is a wonderful and complicated interconnection of “customer support” in which we play a crucial role, so go out there and be valuable and have fun!

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Filed under anger management, depression, freedom, helping others

Freedom to be Yourself

Have you ever noticed that everyone but you seems to have their “act together”- that you look into others perfection and see your own miserable self reflected right back at you, then in a cacophony of safe insecurity you hit your bottom, bounce, and present that brave face, that arrogant smirk, that clubs that self righteous junk right back at those looking into your own miserable yet “I got my act together” veneer of perfection?

Have you ever sat at the feet of yet another self absorbed guru (like there is any other kind) and secretly wondered, while gaga grinning in inner peace, what it would be like if gaga grinning guru here were to self immolate, spontaneously, now, so that while he sizzled and greased up the floor with his holy oil, you could ease the cramp in your back, legs, bum and toes, that was gifted to you by the personal enlightenment pose of the now fast reducing master?

Have you ever instinctively felt that there was something out there, something greater than you, but have been unable to extract yourself form the whirlwind drama of life to look around to see what exactly it is that is disturbing your everyday mundane perfection?

Have you ever considered that you are prefect as you are?

Remember that what we do for a living is not who we are – it is an important and complex interpersonal and social means to a financial end. It is important to understand and work in harmony with those around us, but that title and position, no matter how lofty or lowly, is not you. It is just a transitory position in your journey through life.

While you are facing the responsibilities of life, don’t forget to take some time to be yourself – even if it means putting a picture of a dragon or a fairy on your desktop!

Always remember that you are unique, perfect whole and complete as you are – you are free to be you whenever you choose.

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Filed under being present, depression, freedom, ptsd

Day Dreaming

Remember those days as a child when the world was filled with possibility?

When a few bricks and a piece of card became a pirate ship or a space ship?

When there was no doubt in your mind that your newly imagined pirate ship could take you on an infinite adventure and that you would always be victorious!

You were always perfect in your own world.

Day dreaming is a unique behaviour that allows us to safely yet realistically explore possibility. It is closely linked to fantasy and the exploration there of, and a lot of our day dreaming may incorporate a large amount of fantasy. What day dreaming serves to do is to assimilate external experience and other peoples ideas , experiences and concepts into a single imaginary event which we then experience form our own unique perspective.

Day dreaming is a natural way of conditioning your subconscious mind to find something acceptable or unacceptable and there buy creating space or managing space in your life for the actual experience. There is also very little judgement of self or others in a day dream, and are few limitations to the imagined experience. By paying attention to our day dreams, deep insights can be gained into your self , motivations and expectations as well as into more negative areas of your personal limitations and inhibitions.

One can also re analyse trauma and other stress events in a day dream which allows us to create just the required degree of emotional separation for you from that event so we can cope better and eventually become stronger.

Dare to dream, indulge in that fantasy for a moment and alloy your mind to fine tune your experience in this wonderful reality!

What would it be like if…………?

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Being More Efficient

We all want to do more, get more, achieve more….

But if we could allocate more time to X project, we would!

Most of us have already committed 100% of our valuable time to existing tasks at hand, so how do we grow our business, career and even social selves?

Have you ever played one of those slide the pieces puzzle games where you have to shuffle pieces around to get from A to B?

Becoming more efficient is a process just like that, we have to prioritise and schedule tasks in such a way so as to get all our stuff done and free up more time.

The best way to do this is to prioritise things in your life.

It is a given that you have responsibility to your family, friends and work, and would not jeopardise any of those. All we need to do is get the order right!

I like to divide my areas of influence into three categories.

  1. Drop everything and run emergency response

  2. Important to attend to before everything else

  3. Not so important, but needs attention

See if you can categorise all areas of your life into similar categories – for the family area in my life, children are 1, siblings and parents 2, others 3. For work, imminent deadlines 1, next weeks projects 2, yearly goals 3. Even vehicle maintenance can be categorised in this way – a cam-belt replacement would be 1, then a service and tyres 2, then air-conditioner re-gas 3.

We are always going to have to deal with a curve ball or two, but if we can re calibrate ourselves regularly and re focus, we will become more efficient, more pro active, less reactive and more in charge of our lives.

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Getting the Timing Right

How long did it take you to learn to ride a bicycle?

How many times did you fall off that bicycle before you got it right?

Why then do we expect that other areas of our lives will run smoothly and hassle free on the first try?

There are so many variables interacting and influencing our lives that is amazing that we get anything together at all!

It seems that the only way that we as humans can progress along a chosen path is to assess all the variables and order them in such a way that the transaction or set of actions progresses in a specific order to get us to our desired outcome. In most cases, if something goes wrong, the whole process stops and we have to re evaluate the order in which we placed the variables and try again. Success in life seems to be all about implementing the right formula with a compatible set of circumstances at the right time.

To get the timing right, you need to observe and be patient!

Observe the outcomes of your actions as they are today. Judge for yourself if the outcome is acceptable to you in relation to your expectation. If you are not satisfied, look at the actions that you took and see where your actions can be improved. Also look at the technology available and decide for yourself if you need to upgrade it or even adapt it to suit your purpose better. It is pointless inventing an iPod like device and not having access to suitable memory technology.

Don’t lose sight of your end goal. Be patient!

Allow other important variables to mature to a point where they are compatible and can add meaningful value to the action that you need to take to successfully achieve your goal.

In most cases you will notice that a lack of success is nothing more that a timing issue. Don’t be too hard on yourself, re assess your actions and try again!

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Filed under anger management, positive thinking, self help, Stress Management and Life Coaching